Tuesday, December 6, 2011

One of these things is not like the others, one of these things is not the same!

Think back to the last time you boiled up a big pot of tasty soup in the kitchen.  I'll give you a moment.  Remember carefully combining your favorite fresh ingredients into a bubbling, steamy kettle; aromas wafting through the house, drawing a salivating crowd to the kitchen?  Those fresh veggies and herbs slowly breaking down and combining in a sultry tango of rich flavor and that perfect texture.  A scoop of sea salt, a pinch of pepper.  But did you remember to add the silica hydrogel and potassium metabisulphite?  How about isinglass collagen, silicic acid, dimethylpolysiloxane, or propylene glycol alginate?  No?  Well it came as a surprise to me to learn that these are common, undisclosed chemical and animal byproduct ingredients in our favorite beers.

I got the willies just reading about it (in my head; I can't pronounce those names out loud).  Why are we collectively swallowing this?  To keep our beer clear and our foam fluffy?  No more, fair Boston!  Free yourselves from the manacles of mediocrity, the shackles of shitty beer!  Throw down your aluminum bottles and color-changing cans!

Two Tun Brewery would now like to make a promise to the blogosphere.  Dear Internet: We pledge to keep animal products, freaky chemicals, refined sugars and artificial preservatives out of our kettles.  Furthermore, dear Web, we promise to always brew our beer unfiltered, in small batches, to share with our local community.  Matter o fact, we just drafted our official Mission Statement, and it goes a little sumpin like this:

Two Tun Brewery will provide the local public with simply made, all-natural ales in a modest production scale where craft is paramount.

Yep, that's the way.  And that's also the end of this little experiment: a post sans pics.  Like it?  Hate it?  Wish you had a beer?  Tell me how that makes you feel: TwoTunBrewery@gmail.com.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Aging works for Stouts, not Blogs


Yeah yeah, so I dropped the ball again.  Just ignore the post dates.  Well here's what's been going down around here since the NoBBC.  We hit maximum occupancy for the Night, 30 people crammed into this little brewery to suck down about 19 gallons worth of 9 different ales; a baker's dozen types of cheese from here and there; and a whole spread of our painstakingly, hand-achingly, breath takingly-crafted local veggie crudite; pickle platter; mini sandwiches (with great stuff like wild boar, aged clothbound cheddar,  and baby arugula from the garden); hand-made nougats, chocolates, caramels and cookies; cashew and ricotta-stuffed mushrooms; piles of chips and crackers.  Plus a tun more.  During prep and the party, I managed to get 2 photos.


Since then I done been busting my ass in the brewery, dialing in classics, and trying a few new tricks.  4-Stitch porter has seemingly become a vanilla-spiked beer for good: you all asked for it, and I like to take care of my drunks and drunkettes.  I finally brewed another batch of BIG ED Imperial Stout.  It'll be going down sometime this winter after a nice, long rest.  Hop Salad IPA is brewing up like clockwork these days, with a pound and a half of Cascade hops in each batch, it usually lasts all of a week once I tap the keg for you friendly visitors.  I have another 10 gallons in the fermenter now.  Scope the toasted oak for BIG ED and a fresh pint o' the Salad.

 

Like drinking IPAs but getting a little sick with conservative, white-collar, east-coast hops and their well-groomed, ivy-league, douchebag friends?  Fresh on tap and bottles this week is my brand new baby, a pale ale with Cali at it's core, loaded like a Desert Eagle with mondo poundage of Citra hops for a downright kick in the papillae of pine, grapefruit and slow-roasted cotton candy-wrapped watermelon bullblegum.  Too much?  I get enthusiastic when I have beer for breakfast.  How do we pack so damn much flavor into such a smooth IPA without making it a bitter choker?  Black magic, of course.  Meet Tongue Spank IPA, or should it be TongueSpank?  I'm making this up as I go.


I'd also like to introduce Belle Jenn, named for my lovely and insistent beer queen.  It's a Belgian-style Stronge Amber ale, at 8.5%.  For those of you who managed to get some and want more, come to the Night of Stronge Biere in January!

"What the hell is the Night of Stronge Biere!?!" you scream?  Well I'll tell ya, keep your pants on.  Unless you're at home, then do what you feel like, but pull the blinds down please.  The NoSB is the NoBBC's wintery cousin, who only likes the booziest brews and rich food with extra butter.  Right about the time the icy curtain of winter sets in over the greater metro Boston region and your tears freeze on your cheeks, our Seasonal Affective Disorder-shattering night of mid-hibernation drinking and comfort food overindulgence will put the wind back in your sails to tough out the last 8 months of winter!  The Night of Stronge Biere will be blowing up the spot on Saturday, January 28th.  All beers over 8%ABV, so get ready for a cab ride home!


Welp, that's it for me, folks.  The usual hook: email TwoTunBrewery@gmail.com for info, current beers, self-righteous outrage or to stop by the brewery!  Cheers, Prosit, Salude!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

NoBBC Scoop: The Party Behind the Legend

Sup sup suuuuuup!?!  I'm back to spread the dirt about the second annual Night of Beer Bread & Cheese.
Beer list: Got it!  Cheese list: Mysterious!  Tickets: There's still a few left!  Excitement: Critical Mass!!
First things first, let's feed those hungry eyes some Two Tun Beer Porn.  Enjoy the last few weeks in the brewery...
So much fresh HOPS!  Some from Douglas, some from Bryan.  Thanks boys!!



Cooked up a wicked huge batch of IPA, guy!
....and used part of it to make an unhopped, sour, herbed ale.
That's the Sour Gale Ale on the left and Upside Brown Ale on the right.
Sour Gale Ale and s'Blended Sour Ale squaring off on the back porch.




Hopping the piss out of the IPA with dried and fresh hops, and a fully loaded draught system!
Two of my favorite sights on this great green earth...



Enough smut!  Now for some distinguished, sensible literature in list form.
THIS YEAR'S LINEUP OF TWO TUN ALES FOR NoBBC:

BIG ED aged Imperial Stout
Farmhouse Brown Ale
Vanilla 4-Stitch Porter
s'Blended Sour Ale
Upside Brown Ale
Belgian Gold IPA
Hop Salad IPA
Sour Gale Ale
4-Stitch Porter

For the lay-drinker, that's 6 draught ales on tap and 3 in bottles.  For the lay-drunk, that's over 35 gallons of sauce to wash down more cheese than you can shake a (large) stick at!  The cheese you say?  Well something has to be a surprise, so grow some patience and wait like a damn adult!  Of course there will be goat, sheep, and cow curds in a sultry dance of harmony and intruiging counterpoint.  Pliant pates, rustic rinds and myriad molds will entice, seduce, spurn and manhandle your tastebuds until you cry out for relief!
Creamy cocoa, puckering pickles and crunchy confections shall woo and coerce you until your will and your palate alike have been bent into submissive lap dogs wimpering in adoration and the catharsis of sheer, sublime revelry.  In lay-drunk, we'll all be smashed like a pumpkin!

Come Hungry, Leave Drunk!

If you're one of the poor souls who finds oneself without entry to this fine shindig and wish to change your fortune without waiting another twelve long months, write to TwoTunBrewery@gmail and we'll see how we can help.  See you on October 7th!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

NoBBC 2.0: It's nice to be draughted

And now for the big damn deal you’ve been itchin for: The second annual Night o’ Beer, Bread ‘n’ Cheese is going down on Friday October 7, the year of our Yeast: twenty-eleven.  Catch the best gall-dang cheeses from here and there, with waaaaay too much awesome beer and all the freaky delicious fixins.  Last year saw 13 artisan cheeses, Mexican chocolate, home-made pickles, 14 different beers, wild boar sausage, lowered inhibitions, and a hell of a lot of fun.

Join us this year as Two Tun Brewery opens its doors to celebrate over two ears of brewing killer ales without a single party foul.  Our brand new 4-tap draught beer system will be pouring, as well as a selection of special bottles, including BIG ED Imperial Stout.  Same as last time: there’s only 30 tickets, first come, first served.  We’ll be starting at 6pm this time, and goin as long as it takes!

You know the slogan: Come Hungry, Leave Drunk!  Now please enjoy some slides from the trip…


Hell yes! that's the BIG ED


 Four taps means over 20 gallons of suds

 
 I said there'd be bottles.  There'll be bottles.



So you want tickets?  Tell me about it: TwoTunBrewery@gmail.com
Like the idea of way too much beer?  This January we'll be doing our first Strong Beer night, so let's see that chest hair, tough guy.  Hey, we're just trying to keep warm the old fashioned way.
Cheers!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Monks have all the fun...

I ended the last post with a tease about a Belgian-style amber ale, and I'm here to announce the immaculately conceived product of this sacred experiment, my Trappist-style Dubbel Blond Ale.

Clean hoppiness, rich caramel malt and an omnipotent monks' ale yeast combined for a well-balanced 7%ABV brew: a good stand-in for holy water in most non-life-threatening circumstances.  Don't like Belgian people?  Think monks are jerks?  So does the second half of the batch, fermented with a patriotic American ale yeast with olde fashioned values.  Also weighing in at 7%ABV this beer pays sobriety no heed.

2 samples from the brewing process, making Dubbel Blond Ale


Is this heaven?  Then why are those beautiful bottles of Upside Brown Ale (7.5%) all aglow with a new mother-like radiance?  Could it be magic?  Perhaps some supernatural aura?  A crappy cell phone camera?
The world may never know what makes it look so sexy, but now you can taste this seductive, full-bodied ale. One keg was bottled, the other is on draught at the brewery now.  Get some or get real.


Last but not yeast, take a good long look at this rapturous sight, you won't be seeing this ale again until there's snow on the ground outside, or mudslides, or tornadoes and volcanoes, or whatever the hell happens in your freaky part of the world.  This is Two Tun Brewery's first true commitment to our near and dear friend, sour beer.  Consider this a promise ring, because once this blend of three separate batches completes fermentation, a whole host of single-celled brutes will have had their barbaric way with the beer, rendering it bitter and puckering, like Grampa's girlfriend.
In the photo you can see we added the toasted oak chips used in BIG ED (cocoa/vanilla/oak-aged imperial stout) for the ageing process; and in one week, we'll respark fermentation by adding fresh, unpasteurized red currant juice to add another layer of complexity.  This beer will be the benchmark for our sour projects in the future, and the big brother of our latest sour project, the uber-pale ReReid(7%):
Pale malt...                                           ... makes pale beer


That's it.  So scram already!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Alright, already!

 It's now been 5 months since I got a post up, so let's get the boat on the road.  First, some pictures for the kids; then a list for the scholars; and finally, inventory for the thirsty.  Here goes...






















In the many intervening moons, I've been working harder than a eukaryote to brew up 13 new batches of suds.  In no particular order other than chronologically, they are

   Hop Salad IPA (4.5% ABV) hoppiness incarnate
   Y'Ale Pale Ale (5.25% ABV) a well-balanced pale ale for white peole with balanced checkbooks
   Rye Guy Ale (6.5% ABV) a robust brew with rye and maple syrup
   'Sblended Ale (6.75% ABV) a blended ale made from 3 batches and fermented with 7 yeasts 
   Saisonal Release (7.75%) Belgian-style farmhouse ale brewed with oats and wheat
   Upside Brown Ale (8% ABV) a balls-to-the-wall, dark red malt beast with a hop sting
   Hop Salad IPA and Belgian Hop Salad IPA (6.5 & 7.5% ABV) two hop bombs with different accents
   Belgian MapAle (6.75% ABV) brewed with New Hampshire maple sap instead of water
   Re-Reid Sour MapAle (???% ABV) a lactobacillus-soured MapAle
   4 Stitch Porter (7.5% ABV) the original skin-splitting classic, dark and roasty
   YPA (6% ABV) that refreshing, republican beer come back to haunt your palate and tax bracket
   4 Stitch Porter (7.5% ABV) again?  yes, again smartass.  it's that good
   Upside Brown Ale (7.75% ABV) this one, too

And now for what anyone gives a shit about!  What's on draft, what's in bottles, and what's up next?
   TAP: YPA and 4 Stitch Porter (while they last).  Hit up the brewery for a pint of contention.
   BOTTLES: YPA, 4 Stitch, Re-Reid, and BIG ED Imperial Cocoa/Vanilla/Oak-Aged Stout
   NEXT: I just made pale, brown and porter, so methinks a (Belgian-style?) amber ale is just what the
               doctor ordered.  Stay tuned for me making up my mind -- I've been filled with a newly-
               envigorated breath of blog-posting guilt-based commitment!  Watch me stir and scrape, see me
               drip and pour, read about stuff!  Really, it won't be another half a year.

Yours (and yours alone) truly,
Stevie B